Many employees want to be as helpful as possible and will go the extra effort for the company’s success. On the other hand, there’s a fine line between being nice to your boss or colleagues and going beyond the extent of responsibilities.
If you don’t set boundaries at work, being too kind can put you at a disadvantage and possibly harm your career. Not getting paid for your work can be one of the undesirable outcomes. In addition, you may also be abused, disregarded, and given additional responsibilities.
What do some individuals think of people who are too nice at work?
According to Kimberly Gyuran, your co-workers may try to take advantage of you if you appear to be an overly kind individual. Sometimes, they may request you take additional responsibilities like working extra hours because they know you will always say yes, even if you don’t really want to.
People may overlook your skills and abilities if you’re too nice. For example, if you’ve been hoping for a promotion but haven’t received it, consider whether it has to do with your attitude. Managers must be assertive, able to deal with conflict, and leaders to succeed. Upper management may believe that you cannot effectively lead a team or staff if you are always kind and let others take advantage of you.
As humans, we all feel the same emotions at certain moments throughout our lives. While it’s essential to maintain professionalism at work, there are instances when some events can evoke specific feelings. When things get difficult at the office, it’s admirable to maintain your composure. However, if you’re too polite, people may suspect that you’re hiding something, that you’re fake, or that you’ll eventually betray them.
Based on Michael Kerr’s Is There a Danger in Creating TOO Nice of a Workplace Culture, we outlined how being ‘too nice’ can negatively affect you at work.
1. Being overly friendly might lead to group-think, where everyone just goes along to play nice in the workplace. So, nobody mentions challenges, assumptions, questions, or opposed ideas. If employees don’t think critically enough. They will just avoid strong disagreements in meetings to be courteous. Group-think may lead to dangerous and misguided ideas in an organization. That’s when you don’t get the best ideas. You will miss out on a great idea because everyone was trying to be polite.
2. When you don’t know how to say no because you want to be polite, you will just end up stressing yourself out and burn out at work. Until you realize that you are not happy anymore with what you’re doing. You will be stressed from saying yes too much. It is also a kind thing to refuse sometimes. Remember that saying no will help you gain energy and time to focus on the important things in your workplace.
3. Being too kind makes you a people-pleaser. I get that you want to satisfy people. But if you become such people-pleasers that you go out of your way to please everyone, you may end up pleasing no one but yourself. By becoming like that, you probably damage your own self-esteem and morale. Again, you create extra stress in your life trying to please everyone.
4. Uncomfortable facts must be heard at work from time to time. You harm each other when you avoid hard truths. You are neglecting those who need to listen to them. You are doing your employees and your organization damage by not giving them the constructive feedback they need.
But when you are all trying to be kind, you don’t want to upset anyone. You don’t want a fight. But you need to redefine it as conflict. Successful teams and workplaces thrive on open and honest feedback and communication. Positivity is one of the nicest things you can do for a coworker or even your employer. You may become compassionate by learning to have unpleasant talks and creating an environment that welcomes honest and constructive feedback.
5. To be nice, people don’t speak up about harmful work practices. They don’t want to cause problems. They wouldn’t want to be perceived as impolite just because they speak up. Speaking up against unsafe work behavior is one of the kindest things you can do at work.
6. Being too kind at work leads to dissatisfied customers. There are times that a customer can be a bully. The company tells their employees that they won’t tolerate abusive customer service because they care about their employees’ and customers’ well-being. As a result, employees must be willing to reject consumers when the time comes. Accepting rude customer behavior affects your staff, other customers, and brand.
7. Sometimes, rude people are tolerated at the workplace because we want to get along, so we accept them. As Kerr explains in his book The Jerk-Free Workplace, jerks cause massive stress. They cost your employees and your company considerably more than you think. To be nice, we avoid confronting them. We don’t deal with them appropriately. We don’t have the difficult conversations we need to have with them. We don’t engage with them to be kind and avoid conflict. Letting someone go is one of the most challenging things we can do in an organization. But sometimes, it’s the proper thing to do. It’s good for your firm.
Consider it from this perspective, too. The worst thing you can do is be too kind and accept rude people. If you don’t intervene, it’s one of the most selfish things you can do for them. It’s not fair to anyone in your company to allow this kind of behavior. Additionally, you’re harming employees by covering up others’ bad behavior and failing to address any severe performance issues. Dealing with performance concerns isn’t nice, but there are occasions when it’s the most considerate thing to do.
While being too kind can backfire, you still need to be courteous. However, don’t let people be rude or an opportunist, and you’ll be respected by your coworkers and customers. It’s all about striking a balance between being kind and being strong. Following these tips will help you gain the respect, appreciation, and recognition you deserve at work.
Thank you for reading!